The Odd Night

Ok…running 3 miles whatever…so then I try to go to sleep at 10:30PM. I’m not really tired so I bang out two episodes of Breaking Bad on Netflix. It’s now a little after midnight and I try to sleep…I’m just tossing and turning and my mind enters that limbo mode where your not quite asleep but you’re dreaming…the random guy in Matrix gave it a name.

So this un dream was of someone’s stealing the Escalade with Chase in it. Me chasing them down on foot. I was able to catch them by hopping over the fences in the neighbors yard (and of course my feet don’t hurt in my dreams)

Ummm skipping the details for my wife’s sake, Chase died in a very bad way and it felt very real to me. So real I got out of bed and just stood over his bassinet…watching him sleep. “huh” I thought to myself as the dog got up with me and sat by the bedroom door. Quickly forgetting about my dog as I turned my attention back toward Chase as he started to rouse for his midnight feeding. Jamie said there was a bottle in the fridge.

As I’m preparing the bottle Boogie, my dog, starts to growl out the window. “Fu€#ing raccoons.” I say to myself…then I hear my garage door shut and I see a shadowy figure emerge through my yard. I instantly went into cage fighter mode as I reached for my mag light, tossed some flippyfloppys on and darted out the door after this Ass Clown.

I would say I was fearless in chasing down this dip shit, my wife would say I’m an idiot…tomato toma’to.

Any how, the only part of me that resembled a cage fighter was that I was still in my underwear…just my underwear.

Sadly the d-bag hopped a fence and got away and I was not about to risk screwing up my foot even more over something stupid. Plus those houses have pitbulls…just not something to mess with, even for a outta shape distance running hasbeen such as myself.

I went back to the house, called 911, while NOT comforting my worried wife. Cops were there in less than 60 seconds. Pistol drawn entering my garage to clear it.

Luckily the only thing that I have noticed missing was two macheties. One from Meijer, $5.99, that was used as a fire poker and the other was from the Dominican Republic…most likely made in China…so I guess it was a good thing I didn’t catch up to him. Maglight VS Twin Machetties.

Is there a point to this post…I don’t know…”It can happen to anyone” or “Take Care of the little things.” such as the battery for the wireless alarm in the garage, which had died and I neglected to replace it, the door was not locked, and someone accidently turned off the automatic flood lights.

“If you dream of chasing someone down it might happen” “Always carry a hand gun when making baby bottles” The really amazing thing is that my dog new something was up. Their hearing and alertness is amazing.

All in all the family is safe the cops dusted the door knob for prints and they think they know who it is. I’ll let you know in a week.

Thanks for reading this long Odd Night and remember to keep what you love and covet close to you and remember the rest is just stuff.